I’ve been watching more television these days, probably because I’ve got less money to spend lately. So what did I learn from the boob tube so far this month? First of all, Sarah Silverman isn’t funny. Fire her, and fire whoever keeps hiring her. She’s terrible. I know, I’m hating. It’s cool though, because the views of Elsworth do not necessarily reflect the views of Attorney St. However, Elsworth doubts anyone at Attorney St. feels differently than he does about this since she’s really that corny. Dane Cook is funnier than her. Ouch! And how the hell did she get away with turning her face into a vagina on MTV? For shame.

Anywho, 50 Cent (that’s Fi’ty, not Fiddy, you herb!) just might be the smartest person I saw on TV last week. The pro wrestlingesque release-date-face-off between Ferrari and the Louis Vuitton Don came to a firey peak on 106 & Park on September 11th, eclipsing all terror scares and sudden displays of neo-patriotism. Even Jay-Z couldn’t save Kanye’s performance, which was hurt by his obviously damaged vocal cords, likely a result of going way too hard in Vegas. 50 got the youngsters WAY more hyped with the assistance of the ever-dependable Tony Yayo (hand seizure in the face dance, anyone?).

In the post performance interview, Curtis continued to flaunt his impeccable braggadocio, stating that neither Ye nor Jay were any competition for him. When certain members of the crowd responded with boos, he said, “You little haters are like bloggers!” Ouch part deux! Whether or not you agree that he runs New York, it’s undeniable that 50 Cent can run his mouth with the best of them.